TORONTO — National coffee chain Tim Hortons has announced an unprecedented collaboration with the Association of Garage Mechanics. A special support program for owners of automotive classics that are running on borrowed time is now available at the drive-through.
The promotion is simple: show the clerk your battered vehicle registration, where the model year is old enough to bring a barista to tears, and you immediately qualify for:
“We noticed a sad trend: people sit in our morning line, nervously watching the coolant temperature gauge while aromatic white smoke drifts from under the hood. We decided to support Canadian families: coffee for the person, a litre of oil for the dry crankcase. Care should be comprehensive,” the chain’s marketing director said.
The combo includes
- A Double-Double at 30% off: Double sugar, double cream — to replenish the driver’s lost nerve cells.
- A one-litre bottle of 10W-40: Supplied in a cardboard cup holder, so you can top up the “patient” without pulling away from the curb.
A new standard of service
Staff are already taking a crash course. Under the new service standards, “Would you like a straw or a funnel for the filler neck?” is mandatory. The traditional napkin will be replaced by an oil-soaked rag for wiping the dipstick.
There is one restriction: if blue-grey smoke and sparks shoot from the tailpipe while you order, your food is handed over first so you can shut off the engine before the café’s fire alarm goes off.